let it happen...

Only place she can go and get some peace of mind is right here through this keyboard.. it's the only place she can write her feelings down and maybe gain some kinda feeling again.....right now...she's numb...blank and cold....feeling nothing, nothing at all.....feels like she's sinkin, drownin' and dyin'.....She doesn't even wish this feeling upon...not even her enemy...


Anyway..ya know that feeling, ya feel when ya feel it in ya gut that somethin's goin' on...somethin' twisted and corrupted...but, doubtfully and straight faced people deny it and make ya feel crazy...make ya feel annoying and make ya feel...obsessed and depressed..when in fact, you're just stressed...stressed cause the man you're in love with aint in love with you in return and if he is... he's smart...playin' games with you and your thoughts and playin' the same games with them and their hearts... and oh shit! her heart too...so she's the one losin'....
but he stays there feedin' her delicious words and she takes every single mouth watering bite into account and chews on it for as long as she can but at the end.......it's all bullshit she was fed and was led to believe he...was as crazy in love with her as she was with him but then....she blinked and there, he sinked...and up and left her down and out...in the dumps while he's up...in his peaceful free love times and...silently meets some other chick, who's feeling him harrrd..and to her surprise he's feeling her too...just as hard..two weeks in and she's already in love......and im...I mean, she...she's havin' dejavu and gettin' goose pimples cause this NEW girls dimples...are brightly showin and she is glowin....and her, the one deep deep in love...above it all, just sits there...frownin' and drownin...


So, at the end of the day she was indeed never crazy, annoying, obsessed or in need.... shejust wanted the truth and well....althought it took longer than expected...soon enough the truth sure did get there... and when it arrived she thought she would dive..right into the careless pile everyone usually resides to when they feel blue but she slid..right back...into her tear ducks..


Now...she know's that this is just a phase she's gotta go through because these are those inevitable moments of life we must embrace and just face....but, if only the mothafuckah woulda just kept it real from the start then she wouldn't be feeling this feeling of......emptiness. instead she'd feel greatness and liberation from all this frustration and fakeness tanglin' her thoughts... fightin' with the harsh reality of it all. and it's funny cause...he's still tryna feed her bullshit when he already came clean, that's it... just another fling....another piece of ass under his belt and she's gotta just sit here and intake all...inhale it, like a blunt....but this blunt she don't wanna...pass.


So anyway, I mean, how many pussies do niggas gotta taste before they realize its all one big waste of time and energy....pussy is pussy and there is nothing more valuable than that chick that holds on to your heart and cherishes you as a whole.....up until he screws it up....and just how many screw ups does it take for her to realize he aint real about what they have going on and can finally break away freely, from those fake ass words she continually and willingly drank from his flask....he wears a mask and always has....


.. and now, is when she see's it..and it's crazy cause although she knows it, feels it and see's it...she still havin' a hard time loosening up that grip and letting it float away, but it's straight...
she see's better tonight and you..better realize that this fight....fight for love is done, she's done her part and now she's got to move on... flappin' her wings and learnin' to fly...it's her time to survive and revive..... let it happen